Ruth Pay (Kent & South London Doula)

About Me

Hello there, I’m Ruth

mother, lover of the seaside, and compulsive learner. I am a birth and postnatal doula in Kent and London and I am passionate about supporting families to have the best possible start to their parenting adventure.

You might like me if:

• You like your information with a large helping of evidence
• You want to birth your way
• You’d like to be heard and understood
• You are not sure what you want from birth, but you know you want someone by your side to be there with you

“Ruth is the most incredibly supportive, thoughtful and professional doula I have encountered. The information and support she gave us during my pregnancy and into my labour (and after!) enabled us to have the calm, empowered birth we wanted despite going into labour early and not being able to have the home birth we originally planned. We felt able to advocate for ourselves and ask for what we wanted, giving me an incredible water birth on a labour ward, something I didn’t think would happen. I can’t recommend Ruth enough! She even came round afterwards with thoughtful gifts and breastfeeding help. What a wonderwoman.” — Stevie T

I work with Laura Scarlett and Charlie Edun as a trio of doula awesomeness for shared care – you can find out all about that at The Good Birth Practice. With me as your doula, you get the benefit of my passion, knowledge, and commitment to all things pregnancy, birth, and women. I get a kick out of being a helpful, practical, and loving part of the birth team working with you at the center. I don’t have an agenda for how you should give birth or parent, I just want you to get the choice and support to be able to do it the way you want. You might find that you would like someone to listen to you alongside other practical support. Really listen, and hear what you are saying. I have been training in deep listening skills for many years. Someone really listening to you can make a huge and lasting difference and I love that part of my job. As a trainee Breastfeeding Counsellor with the ABM I am able to use my skills and knowledge to help you to prepare for your baby and plan toward meeting your feeding goals – whatever they may be.

“If you want a great birth experience, you should get in touch with Ruth. She will give you support you need and make sure your voice is heard. My birth experience was amazing, I gave birth without any pain relief, just asked for the gas and air in the end. If I had any concerns or questions, I knew I could always ask Ruth. She will be always there for you when you need her.” — Elena

I teach the 3 Step Rewind tool for Trauma tool to any member of the family who is having a hard time with negative emotions and physical responses after experiencing a traumatic event. It has recently been reported that levels of birth trauma and PTSD from birth are higher than ever thought in both mothers and fathers. If this is you, please reach out for support if you feel able. Everyone is different and when I work with families we find the best way to work together as much and as frequently as you want.

“You will not regret having Ruth present before and during your baby’s birth. The birth of our first baby boy was the most magical, positive, empowering and deeply bonding experience we could have ever hoped for as a family – this was in no small part due to the presence and influence of Ruth throughout. What a way to welcome our baby. Ruth is a natural doula and has a deeply caring nature. I can not recommend her highly enough for the preparation for and birth of your baby.” – Natalie

Why am I a doula?

Well, while pregnant, it became a daily norm for someone to come and tell me about their traumatic birth or breastfeeding story. I could hardly believe how women were being treated during birth, and that it was seen as normal and ignored. It led me to want to get involved and make a change. When allowed to autonomously make decisions about their own bodies and their babies, it has been found that parents make good choices. As a family, or a single person bringing a child into the world, you are faced with many decisions to make, often surrounded by medical professionals. I will support you, with your birth partner if you have one, to be in the best position, ready with all the information you need to make the right decisions for you.

What do you want?

What is your focus for birth? Do you have any concerns? We will talk, I will listen, and support you with what matters to you. We will work together as a team towards the best birth for you.

“If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it.” -Dr. John H. Kennell

At the simplest level, I want to be a part of making sure your rights are respected during birth. Studies show that when women are respected and listened to, they often have a better birth experience and a much lower chance of trauma. I want to be there to hold the space for you to make those choices, and to keep the room positive and calm when others may become distracted or have other priorities. I know that you can have a beautiful birth, whatever that looks like for you and your baby. There is more about my experience, offering and services on my website. If you have any money worries I am more than happy to discuss lots of options to help you to get the support you want.

Email me at ruthgoodbirth@gmail.com to tell me about yourself and ask me anything you like.

Other stuff I do:

• volunteer for Family Action FamilyLine
• volunteer for Doulas Without Borders
• volunteer for Neighbourhood Doulas in London
• Co-facilitator for The Birth Network – North Kent
• Founder of The Kent Doula Collective
• volunteer for ABM and National Breastfeeding Helpline (in training)

Thanks for stopping by, I’d love to learn more about you.  You can text or call me on 07886199300